More about me...
Are you looking for improved self-worth for you or your child? Then you’ve come to the right place.
Everybody matters. It’s been my absolute pleasure helping people move from bullied to brave. From withdrawn to confident. From a life with limiting beliefs to one where they’re shining bright.
I know how hard it is to feel like you don’t belong.
Why? Because I was there, too.
I was called names such as Dumbo (due to my ears), four eyes (due to my glasses), Bugs Bunny (since I have a bit of an overbite), Dog…ostino (making fun at my last name), loser and geek among many other distasteful ones.
Sticks and stones may break bones but names DO hurt!
These names damaged my self-esteem, worth and confidence. Adults in my life tried to wish this away using the famous sticks and stones rhyme. This only made things worse.
Here's the thing:
No one taught me how to NOT let names hurt me. The names did hurt and shaped who I came to believe I was. Here’s how the names broke me:
I became withdrawn - spending recess in a corner so as not to be bothered.
I was always the last to be picked, if at all. The teacher assigned me to a group once every one else had selected the people they actually wanted.
I felt rejected, like I didn't belong.
The humiliation was torture (and I went through this every single day)
The adult line "We all went through this, you'll be fine" made it worse.
See, no one elaborated how to do things better. This set stage for my whole life. I was letting the world write my story (who I was, what I could or couldn't do, what I deserve).
I don't want to see you going through this or for that to happen to your own (or anyone else's) child.
These experiences shaped my beliefs on who I was. They shaped my thoughts and actions my whole life.
I kept asking myself these questions:
What would my life have been like if I had not been defined by cruel people who didn't know anything about me?
What would I be if I didn’t carry such limiting beliefs?
Life changed tremendously once I got rid of those limiting beliefs. Yours (and your child’s) will change as well once you decide to take charge and be the very best version of you.
Note that these challenges do not just disappear.
You have to deal with them systematically. I carried mine through high school. Here, I shifted from the kid who used to be picked on and bullied to the one who did the pushing. Verbally anyways.
I was still the tormented kid with a low self-esteem. I appeared strong, fearless and bold, but Inside I was so lonely. I feared that people may spot the confidence mask and spot that scared and sad girl. This was definitely NOT better than being called names and pushed around.
It forced me to be someone I wasn't as a teenager right through adulthood. The extent of my inner damage was bad. I couldn't let people know me. Consequences included never making friends, never staying on a job too long and never really knowing myself.
I've worked through my self-esteem, self-worth and self-confident issues through the same kind of coaching I'm offering you.
I won't lie, it will take a lot of effort. However, the reward of knowing who you are and being brave enough to show it is well worth it. It brings forth priceless possibilities. My biggest takeaway was I learned to never let others determine my self-worth.
Why am I passionate about working with children?
This comes from walking in the shoes of:
First, the child due to the kind of bullying and torment I went through
Second, of a parent watching their child enduring the pain and hurt of being bullied
Remember how badly the bullying had affected me?
Unfortunately, my son was also bullied at grade 2, 3 and 4. We supported him at home through creating a loving and safe place for him to enjoy away from school. We worked with the schools to try eliminate the bullying. This can be slow and ineffective. Sound familiar?
My child seemed strong but in grade 5, I realized it had started taking a toll on him. He withdrew, zoned out with video games and did not want to talk about it anymore. I sensed how alone he felt. He needed that sense of belonging that he wasn't getting in school.
Parents know the pain of seeing their children who were once thriving and happy becoming sad, lonely and withdrawn.
I didn't want my son to go through life with limiting beliefs as I had.
I decided to take my Self-Actualized Life Coach & Mentor training.
Here I learnt invaluable skills. As I was coaching my clients, I started seeing a pattern matching my own. The challenges they experienced stemmed from their childhood experiences. Many of them were bullied.
It bothered me that I was only helping adults. Don't get me wrong, this is very rewarding. But what if I helped people when they were still young? There’s no greater way to help parents proactively heal and to prevent a lifetime of limitations for their children.